What I thought recovery would look like: 

• Feeling 100% confident in my body at all times
• Loving every part of myself everyday 
• Going out to eat and being completely present with the people I'm with and feeling comfortable ordering everything on the menu
• Eating only to the point of fullness, and no more

What recovery actually looks like:

• Waking up and telling myself I'm a badass bitch, even if I don't fully believe it.
• Working hard everyday to love myself. And being okay with the days that I don't. 
• Going out to eat and being intentional about slowing down, checking in with myself, and eating for pleasure. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't. 
• Tuning into my body and gauging my hunger scale. Sometimes ignoring my hunger scale. Sometimes eating too much. 

Sensing a trend? Recovery isn't linear. There are days when I fist-pump myself and feel on top of the goddamn world. And there are days where I question if I've made any progress at all. 

Wherever you are in your journey, just know that you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason. Every stumble is a learning lesson, and through these moments we can truly learn and grow.