Welcome to a new series: Kween Confessions, where we touch on topics that no one wants to talk about. Send in your confession and we'll post it anonymously. We believe it's cathartic to put your story into words, and helpful for others to read and realize they are not alone.
Confession Time – I’m a hoarder, but certainly not in the way you would think. I don’t keep all of my old baby clothes or all of my beanie babies, I don’t collect trash and keep it “just in case”, however, I do something I like to call “calorie hoarding”. Back when I used to restrict my calories to an extremely low number every day, I would always “save” them for the end of the day. I figured that if I ate calories earlier in the day, I would surely be hungrier, and would then “run out” of calories or food to eat by mid-day. This couldn’t happen, so I would basically starve myself in the morning until mid-afternoon, and when I finally would eat, it was never very much because I knew I still had dinner and dessert ahead of me. Although I no longer restrict calories, I still find myself trying to “hoard” my calories for later in the day. I am fully aware that eating earlier in the day kick starts your metabolism, gives you energy to do what you need to, and fuels your body with nutrients that it may have lost while sleeping. For some reason though, I still find it hard to consume a ton of food early in the mornings. I sometimes find myself only eating small amounts in the morning, leaving me starving at night which leads to bingeing. This is not a healthy pattern and can cause stress on my body and mind if done consistently. Becoming comfortable with eating larger meals earlier in the day will take a shift in focus from food being structured and limited, to knowing that if I’m hungry, I can eat, no matter what time of day and no matter how many calories I’ve already eaten. Food should be looked at in a positive light, not deemed as something we can only have if we've burned enough calories, or given labels such as "bad" or "unhealthy".